Dirty Costume Weekend o' Ridiculousness

Preface: Friday night and nothing to do. Man I'm lame. Oh. Here's a text from Jen. Party tonight? Wear costume? Meet in Omiya? Sounds good. Gotta get a costume first though.

I head out over to my town's local recycle shop (kinda like a thrift store) to see if I can get myself a costume. As I'm riding, I decide to do a bunnyhop up an incline (the incline makes it easier to pull off high bunny hops). Yeah, I did it. Ok. Next incline. Whahoooooooooocrap! I end up eating it on account of the fact I didn't straighten out my front wheel, so when I hit the ground, my bike made a sharp left, causing me to crumple into the pavement. I ripped a hole in the elbow of one of my favorite shirts and scratched up my watch too. Now they've got some extra personality and a story behind their damage. I've gotten really good at crashing my bike and tearing up my belongings. Oh well.
After my crash, I had to put my bike chain back on (the impact was great enough to get it to pop off. ha ha ha) and finish my ride to the recycle, bloody elbow and all. I got there just before they were closing and picked out an outfit in about 5minutes. In the 5 minutes I was able to find a green baseball hat, green baseball socks and a pair of green baseball pants. Talk about lucky. I bought it all for 500yen too. Not a bad deal. After that, I headed back to my apartment to change (and to add "TEAM FAILURE" to my new hat )and head over to the train station. I got to the station and was recognized by a few students. I really don't know how they saw through my disguise. It was perfect. Oh well. Cest la Halloween.
While I'm riding the train I get another text, this one saying, "Come to Higashi Kawaguchi". Great. Omiya is 280yen fare and is only 15-20 minutes away. Higashi Kawaguchi, on the other hand, is a good 50 minutes away if you can time the trains perfectly. If not, it'll take a good hour and a half. Crapppy. Well, since I'm already out and in costume, I figure I might as well make the trip.
When I get to Higashi Kawaguchi, no one is in costume. All Jen has on is a pair of crappy fake wings. What a jerk. When she sees me in costume, she says, "Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you no one is going to dress up". Yeah, you sure did. Thanks. Oh well. I honestly don't care. It just makes it all the better. I was hoping that it was some sort of elaborate hoax she was playing on me, but then I realized it's Jen, so that's just not possible. Ha ha!
Anyway, we end up going to a restaurant where you can get a karaoke room. We ate, drank, and sang for a couple of hours. Some of Jen's friends (Daisuke, Rose and her BF) made it about 30 minutes after we got there and they joined in the fun. Woot! We took off after a while and headed over to Neil's (mortician, cousin of Steve-O) apartment. I ended up riding in Daisuke's car. When we got to the Mortician Apartments, I plopped out of the car wearing a...what? Oh yeah. A floatie inertube. I'm still not sure why. Oh well.
We went up the elevator and I got to see my boy Kujo (st bernard statue) again. He looked at me with his sad puppy dog eyes so I had to give him the inertube. At Neil's place I was able to aquire a green katana that matched perfectly with my green baseball outfit. It seems my costumed was just meant to be. Devine seems like too lowly a word for it actually.
After a while at Neil's place, everyone headed off to Omiya. Daisuke decided to drive like a crazy mofo, and would swerve the car side to side just to smash the hell out of the people in the back seat. I was lucky enough to be one of the back seaters...wait...no. I was the luckiest of the back seaters because I was sitting bitch so I was the one smashing the others. I'm a bastard. In Omiya we headed over to the King George to see one of Don's (another mortician. no famous cousin I know of) friends who was dj-ing there. Just outside of the bar there were a bunch of hostesses sending off a group of "dasai matching clothes people" (dorky dudes wearing matching clothes). I was harassed by them for a while (I didn't mind. Their job is to flatter people, so I just made them give me lots of compliments on my baseball ninja outfit) before I went down to the bar.
The King George was bare ass empty when we got there, but whatever, all the better for...that's right. All the better for meeting a creepy old train conductor who sat at a table by himself with a bunch of photos spread on the table in front of him. The photos were all of him with other people, making it slightly more creepy. I walked over and asked if I could check out his pictures and he said go for it. I called Jen over after a while and she started talking to him too and we eventually got him to let us wear his creepy hats. I got him to go dance with Jen and Rose, and I took pictures of them on his camera (unfortunately he didn't email the pictures like he said he would. bastard).
After the creepy old train conductor dance session, we went back to kawaguchi. Daisuke dropped Jen and me off at her apartment, and we promptly took off to go find some food. I mean, the night was still young. Jeeze. It was only 4:00am. Anyway, while we were walking back from a convenience store we ran into a couple of 14year old Yakuza in training (delinquints) and their girlfriends. They asked Jen if she likes to "do sex" and asked me if I was in a green gang. These kids always know the good English words. After a bit of talking, one of them started flexing and then challenged me to an arm wrestling match. What a little fucker. I promptly put him down, and he challenged me again. This time it took a little while longer because he kept moving around in circles (we had to arm wrestle on the pavement). Eventually I said fuck it and started moving too and then put him down. Then Jen promptly called me a pussy for letting a 14 year old keep me at bay for so long, but because I actually am a pussy, I took no offense to it.
We finally made it back to Jen's place and slept until 4:00pm. Instead of getting up, the day was spent watching tv and being lazy. Eventually, we went to the grocery store and got some food. We started feeling a bit more productive after that and decided to go to a video rental place to get some movies. Jen's friend Tomu picked us up and we all headed over to Don Quixote (a shop that has pretty much everything you could ever need) for a remokon (remote control) for Jen's shitty DVD player. She eventually bought one but it didn't end up working. Ha ha ha.
Anyway, we eventually found out that Bad Santa would work without a remote, so we started watching it. Something strange was going on though. I couldn't quite put my finger on it because it was so subtle. Wait. No it wasn't. The fucking DVD player turned everyone's voice into a chipmunk voice. There was gruff Billy Bob cursing up a storm while sounding like Theodore from the Chipmunks. We couldn't put up with that so we decided to go to Tomu's place to watch some movies. We ended up watching Jackass: The Movie. They totally edited out party boy in the stereo shop in Japan, Wee Man walking around in the giant cone, and Preston wearing a diaper while banging a gong behind unsuspecting victims. BS if you ask me.
Ok. So if you haven't been keeping track, it's Sunday now. Morticians, Omiya, karaoke, Daisuke's driving = Friday. Lazy sleep till 4 and watch movies at Tomu's place = Saturday. Next day = Sunday. Now. Ok. I haven't mentioned going back home or showering. This is because I am still wearing the baseball ninja costume. That's right. This is the 3rd day wearing the same clothes in a super disgusting ubathed for 3 days state. You don't need to tell me. I know I'm gross. Anyway, the day was spent in a pattern like this:
sleep
watch crappy tv
sleep
more crappy tv
sleep
go back home
The awesome thing is that when I finally get off the train at my station, I run into a group of my junior high students. They gave me a good ole' "WTF" look so I told them that I was coming back from a Halloween party. In no way could that have explained my discheveled state, but fortunately they didn't even give it a second thought. They know I'm fuckin' wierd. Anyway, I got back to my apartment and got my stuff together for my lessons the next day (someone was coming to evaluate my performance).


p.s. The kids who saw me coming back from Kawaguchi were totally in one of the classes I was being evaluated in, so I had to explain the whole costume thing to the class...while the evaluation was going on. I don't think anyone will ever take me seriously from now on. Goal #5....Status: Complete.