Team Failure at its Finest

Plans. Go play golf with the Yonedas (the principal at one of my schools and his wife) and an English teacher friend of theirs. How badly do I fail? Very. Let's see how I managed it this time.
On the day before golf, Jen invited me to Kawaguchi to kick the proverbrial it with her and then meet up with some Japanese people and some English teachers to go bowling. Great. I go to Kawaguchi, we hit up the super and buy some beer, vodka and some ginger ale. Score. After that we go back to her place, watch some TV, talk for a while, and drink. After a while, Jen texts her friends to ask them to let her know when they are at the bowling alley. We were supposed to meet up with people at the station at 7:30 to go bowling, but she said that there's no point in going back to the station because she lives right next to the bowling alley. Whoops. Although she does live near a bowling alley, they weren't going to that particular one. Ha ha ha ha. Anyway, we finish our drinks, make a particularly strong one for the road and head out.
We make it to the station and meet up with one of her friends...who has probably been waiting there since 7:30, but he's from Cali, so it shouldn't be that big of a deal to him (he even passed the handshake test). I am already getting to the point of drunkeness where time doesn't exist (but does time really exist or is it just an arbatrary creation to make life in a capitalist society possible by giving the population a controlled standard on which routines can be built? Wait, that's just drunkspeak. Back to the story.), but I think it was around 8:10ish kinda, sorta, maybe, when we got there. Oops. So much for Japanese punctuality.
Anyway, we make it to the bowling alley and meet the other people. They are definitely cool and I'm gonna probably to kick it in Kawaguchi more now. Anyway, the drinking continued and the bowling commenced. I don't even want to think about my score. Let's just say I got one spare the whole time. But I was really drunk so it's ok. It started getting late, so Jen took me back to the train station. Uh oh. I totally missed the chance to catch the last train to Kitamoto. They stop running at 12:00 where I live, and I would have to transfer at Omiya, so unless I could find some sort of crazy 4minute train to Omiya, I would be stranded somewhere. Not being stoked on the whole "stranded" idea I said, "Fuck it. I'll catch the first train in the morning.".
We went back towards her place and looked for something to eat. Somewhere along the way, she called an airline to try to change her return ticket to another date. While she was doing that, I randomly met two girls, Noriko and Akiko. After Jen finished her call, Noriko and Akiko took us to a restaurant where we talked and ate. They're both really nice and they both speak very good English as well. Noriko even knows Thee Michell Gun Elephant and how cool of a voice Yaskue Chiba has. First person I've met in Japan that likes TMGE! Sweet. More connections.
We finished eating, said our goodbyes and Jen and I headed back to her place. Somewhere along the line I picked up a skateboard and an umbrella, but that whole deal is kinda fuzzy. I remember going to mulitiple stores for Jen to buy a pack of fags and walking around a bit and grabbing an umbrella out of a crate of broken umbrellas, but I don't remember where I found the skateboard. Oh well.
We got back to her place and I earned 100 yen for giving her a backrub. I fuckin' rock. I'm gonna have to offer 100yen backrubs to more people. Then, maybe after eight backrub sessions I can finally afford a decent bottle of beer in this country. Anyway, after begining my career as a professionl masseuse, I went to sleep. Probably sometime after 4:00 ish. The first train starts running at 4:50am. Ok. Time to sleep. Sleep is nice. Very nice. Zzzzzzzz.
Oh shit! I slept too much. I woke up to my pricipal's wife calling me at 7:00am. They are actually at my apartment. I am in Kawaguchi. I slept through 3 alarms on my phone. I'm such an ass! I blow out of Jen's place filled with disbelief and alcohol. Not a good combo. Running to a train station while trying to explain where and how much of an idiot you are in an unfamiliar town in a disoriented drunken haze isn't as fun as it sounds. Turns out that golf had to be cancelled anyway because the course was flooded. I don't know how, but I remain in good favor with the Yonedas. They have already invited me to golf with them again. I must have been a saint in a past life to get this type of treatment, because I fail at everything, but I'm not dead yet. Score one for the failures out there.

So what have we learned?
1. Failing super hard sucks ass, but I'm good at it, so I should get used to it.
2. I suck at life.
3. I am an asshole.
4. If someone kicks me in the balls with a steel toed boot, that will be karma being nice to me.
5. I am lucky as a MoFo.

That's it for a night in Kawaguchi. Take it easy suckers.