The Maturity of a Sick 13 Year Old

Today, I got to my school (I walked today because I don't like riding my bike with my guitar strapped to my backpack handle and almost crashing all the time) where I was welcomed by some of my students yelling, "CLIT!", "CLITORIS!", and "GET HEAD!". Crazy little fuckers. Anyway, I went into the teacher's room where I sat for a while, until I suddenly I started to choke my own spit, causing me to begin laughcoughing like crazy. My principal got a horrified look on his face and said, "Don't spread your germs!". He then asked the school nurse to bring me a sick mask. She brought me one, so I am now wearing a mask. It's pretty awesome.


Also, in one of my classes, I also got to harass some students that were trying to harass me. One was using his ruler to flash the sun into my eyes, so I walked over and used my watch to flash the sun into his eyes. Another pretended to shoot me with his fingers, so I pretended to grab the pretend bullet out of the air and toss it to the side. Then a bunch of the little shits started to imitate everything I was doing, so I started to do complicated movements with my hands to mess them up. Finally, one of the students threw bits of eraser at me, so I picked them up and crumbled them over his head. Ah...A typical first year class. What good times teaching English.

During fifth period, one of the first year troublemakers from the worst first year class (class 1-5), Tanaka, got in trouble and had to sit in the teacher's room. It's not really a punishment for him because he just ends up sitting next to me and talking. None of the other teachers seem to care, so I have him teach me Japanese. I think he only wants to teach me bad words though. Oh well, those are the words I become fluent in fastest. Anyway, after about 20 minutes, a teacher directed him back to the seat he was supposed to be sitting in where he proceeded to make another teacher laugh. The teacher ended up laughing so hard he had to semi-hide under his desk to not make a scene in the teacher's room. That kid is something else.

After school, I played soccer with the soccer club. We basically scrimaged for a while, which is always fun and always affords me the opportunity to make fun of the troublemakers. There's one kid who is in class 1-5 that I always give a hard time. But he does stuff right back to me, so it's ok. Today, I started pushing him and kicking dirt on him. He responded by calling me names in Japanese and kicking dirt back on me. Then I spit right next to his feet and he did the same to me. There was about a one minute cycle of spitting and kicking dirt before we got back to playing. I would also yell at the kids for no reason (they know I'm joking) and knock them off the ball with my unfair weight advantage. I'm such a bully. Ha ha ha ha.

A typical example of how I treat my students.

Finally, when I was walking home after school, some students asked me to play the guitar, so I got to play a few songs for the kids on the road. They sat around and we had a slight sing along before it got too cold to function. I ended up walking part of the way back to my place with some students and I got to hear my favorite Japanese noun; hana mizu. It literally means "nose water" and is a most eloquent way of saying snot.